I've always held in my heart the idea that I've got some sort of talent in music, some sort of gift worthy of sharing. The idealist in me believes that somehow, all I've experienced in my travels and time so far on this planet (and I've covered a lot of ground), that somehow I could use all that I've learned to help the world. Yes, the idealist in me believes that my music has the power to shape, shift and change mindsets and bring people together. Just as I've transformed intense energies from heartbreak, to depression, to passion, pain and love, into songs, I believe these songs have the power to achieve and inspire similar transformations in others, and perhaps, just maybe, help harmonize the world.
Funny thing is, not everyone likes peace and harmony and I'm equally guilty of that. My comfort zone seems to be getting out of comfort zones and putting myself in new and often uncomfortable situations. It's a really stupid tendency of mine. Sometimes I really don't have a clue why I keep venturing into jungles of life, getting lost, getting frustrated, wondering why the hell I do this to myself and to others. But then eventually I find my way. I find a little nook in the woods with some rivers flowing, or the forest opens up into a clearing with panoramic views, and peace sets in. It's that climbing mountains analogy - it's hard work getting to the top, there are beautiful views and challenging experiences along the way, but when you reach the summit it feels amazing! But how long do you stay there? Eventually it gets boring, as beautiful as it is, and it's time to move on again, time to go down and climb another one!
Up and down, round and round we go, where we stop... it's exciting not to know.
So, I'm plotting my course for the next few mountains to climb, wondering at the same time why I'm doing this to myself. But I know. I do it because I love to. It's who I am. Despite the challenges in music, I need it. It's my therapy, my passion, my first love. Sustaining a living as an independent musician has got to be one of the most challenging things someone could set out to do, but here I am, going further down that road into more jungles that I know I'll be cursing again soon. But that's me. I just need to remind myself why I do it and bring it back to the love. And I can't really help it. I've tried living a normal life working great jobs as a full time engineer and travelling the world but my soul needs more than that. Apparently it has more to say so I've got to follow it. So that's what I'm doing.
If you find me lost along the way, just give me a hug or some words of encouragement (or kick in the butt!) and I'll find my way out of the forest again and hopefully have some cool songs and stories to share. Peace and love to you until then.